“Look at that ass!”
“What the hell, man. What are you? An animal?”
“Throw it here. Nobody is looking at you.”
“Hey! Don’t do that. That’s not right.”
“Ask her out. Don’t be a wimp. Momentarily disappointment is better than lifelong regret.”
“You know her answer. You know things will turn bad after it. You’ll regret it, forever.”
These moments are so frequent in my life. I can literally feel myself sitting between these two opposite manifestations of my mind, and gazing at each of them while they make their arguments.
It’s not that bad. I can see both side of the coin and I can choose, which makes me feel good because only I’ll be responsible for my decisions, either good or bad. Sometimes I wonder if other people go through the same situations or do they just have one side of it. Maybe they don’t see both of them at the same time. Or maybe they don’t see either of them.
Some situations ask for extreme speculations. Or maybe it’s just me, obsessed with this procedure. In cases like that, I pre-imagine them with each possible decision I can take and speculate how the result affects me. I go through them, again and again till I forget the whole point of it and end up ad-libbing them.
What I have learned, over my finite and comparatively infinitesimal ‘inside-the-mind’ life, that not all the things in life have a sharp definition (or distinction) of good or bad, right or wrong. Most of them are gray zones, lots of stories with apparently no clear bottom-line and rather obscure endings. We are indirectly taught to yearn happiness, with any means necessary. I don’t find it very appealing. It doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be happy. The idea is to accept truth gracefully, which usually doesn’t come in smiley faces.
have great actors.
With such audacity,
and grace, they take us,
by our hands and heart.
We wish all good for them,
We wish them all the health.
But, there is a ‘but’,
which you don’t like very much.
It will stay there, till you accept it.
Till you forget all the names,
such and such.
P.S. – You must be wondering, that I totally missed/shifted the point of discussion. I usually do that a lot, unintentionally.